Massive Chaos

"Silent Comfort"

Melody had another relapse last week with her injury and ended up going back in for surgery. It's now been a 7 month nightmare in trying to keep my horse alive. Every time I see the vets they tell me that my horse should be dead. I just keep trekking, and treating her because I know if I slack off even slightly she could get infected and die.

Back when she first injured herself I put my entire life on hold while I stressed out and obsessed over keeping my beloved mare alive. I felt empty and alone, but I figured this was all because of what was happening right in front of me. My horse was seriously hurt, and that's all there was to it. In reality it wasn't. It wasn't the stress of the horse's injury that was making me feel empty- it was the lack of creative energy that was doing it.

It's only been the past 3 months that I've realized I HAVE to paint, I HAVE to write, I HAVE to use my creativity or there's really no point in being here. After I complete a painting or write a short story I feel so warm, so full of life. It doesn't matter what kind of day I've had, if I come home and do something creative everything is instantly better. Art is a part of life, and I have to do it. Since I embraced my creative side again I'm not as stressed out. The threat of dire things still looms heavier over my head, but I can deal with it now. I can take it and channel it into something- a painting, a short story.

Poor Melody still has a long way to go. She came home Friday after her surgery and it confined to strict stall rest. She's such a brave little mare. Everyday when she sees me she nickers happily and rests her head on my chest. I keep praying everything will be alright, and any doubt or troubles get washed away in layers of paint on canvas.

Back Into the Groove

"Sprinkled Petals" 3x5 Colored Pencil on Paper

Melody is still not 100% better yet, but she's getting there! Thank you for all the encouragement and prayers for my lovely horse. I am slowly getting back into the groove of things as my life starts to slow down again and thoughts that my beloved horse might die start to fade from my mind. School has once again started, and I'm very excited that I will be graduating in December!

I am taking an oil painting class this semester, and I'm not sure if the Professor and I are going to get along. I am pretty comparably with myself as an artist. I know my style isn't set, for these things are always changing, but the Professor doesn't like my work so far. She doesn't like my palette, or how I start my paintings. To say the least, this should be interesting. One thing we seem to be debating at the moment is the usage of black in a painting. I use it. She says I should throw it out.

The huge debate about the color black came about with the Impressionists, before then black was a very acceptable color to use in paintings. Used sparingly, I think black can greatly enhance a painting and the shadows within it. Yes, too much black and muddy and dull a painting I understand that, but there is also only so far a dark Prussian blue can shape a shadow.

The colored pencil work I posted has no black added to the shadows. Yes it does have depth and volume to it, it still feels a little flat in some areas. The shadows seem unrealistic to me. It was really only recently that I began to use black again in my work, but again, I use it only to help with my shadows.